Personal Values: Identify What You Stand For

What personal values are, and what they are not

Personal values are enduring, desirable life principles that tell you what is worth getting up for. They are not rigid rules, they are directions. “Honesty”, “Connection”, “Growth”, “Freedom”, “Respect” are values. Goals are endpoints (“Run 10k in 3 months”), needs are states (“I need rest”). Values answer the “what for” behind your goals and give your needs a framework.

• Values = directions (e.g., “Contribution”, “Courage”, “Care”)
• Goals = milestones in that direction (e.g., “Volunteer 2x per week”)
• Needs = signals that regulate (e.g., “Break”, “Closeness”, “Safety”)

Important: Values are not identical to the moral norms of your environment. You can prize “Achievement” without becoming a workaholic, or value “Freedom” and still be reliable. Values are not the same as preferences (“I like Italian food”). They are deeper, more stable, and action-guiding, especially in hard moments like a breakup or a possible reconciliation.

The science: Why values support healing and healthy attachment

Values work on several levels at once:

• Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan) shows that autonomously chosen, value-congruent actions foster lasting motivation and well-being. You do things because they fit you, not due to pressure or fear. Studies on self-concordance (Sheldon & Elliot) show: When goals align with values, persistence, vitality, and life satisfaction increase.
• The gap between your “should self” (social expectations) and your “values self” (Higgins’ self-discrepancy) generates stress, shame, or low mood.

• After breakups, people often experience a drop in self-concept clarity (“Who am I without you?”). Research shows that relationships shape the self (Aron & Aron; Slotter, Gardner & Finkel). Values stabilize identity: they give you contours whether the relationship continues or ends.
• Attachment research (Bowlby, Ainsworth, Hazan & Shaver) shows: Attachment security makes consistent, value-based decisions easier. Anxious or avoidant strategies can pull you into short-term, value-incongruent patterns (for example, an impulsive text to your ex even though “Dignity” and “Respect” matter to you).

• Work by Fisher and colleagues shows that heartbreak activates reward and pain systems in the brain. Value-based actions can serve as regulation anchors: you align behavior with stable principles, not with an immediate dopamine urge (“Just a quick profile check ...”). ACT research (Hayes et al.) shows that values orient you while you accept difficult feelings, instead of numbing them with short-term, often unhealthy strategies.

• Gottman’s research on stable relationships emphasizes shared meaning, common values, rituals, and life goals. Value compatibility is not a luxury, it is core to trust and long-term satisfaction. Studies on partner similarity (Luo & Klohnen) show that value similarity, not identical hobbies, can strongly impact stability and satisfaction.

In short: Values are your internal navigation system. Without them you steer through fog made of impulses, expectations, and fear. With them you make decisions that are true to you, whether you take distance, set boundaries, or attempt a respectful new beginning.

The biggest thinking error: Confusing values with goals, rules, or expectations

• Rules are often external (“People do it this way”). Values are internal (“I choose this because it matters to me”).
• Goals are measurable, values are not. You cannot run “10k of honesty”. You can only act honestly today, again and again.
• Expectations come from others. Values come from you. Of course you can align values with your context, but the origin is your inner priority.

This distinction protects you from a common post-breakup pattern: doing things that create short-term closeness but erode self-worth long term. Example: You want respect and reciprocity (values). You keep apologizing for everything (goal: keep contact), even though your ex treats you with contempt (rule or expectation). Value-based clarity would say: “I want respectful exchange. If that is not possible right now, I will pause contact.”

Step by step: How to identify your personal values

There are many paths. Use the methods that resonate. Combine 2–3 approaches to get a robust picture.

1Analyze peak and pain moments

• Peak: When were you especially fulfilled in the last 5 years? What exactly was present? Who was involved? Which qualities did you live? Example: “I helped a friend move without being asked” – possible values: Care, Initiative, Connection.
• Pain: What hurt most in relationships? Pain often points to violated values. Example: “Lies” – possible value: Honesty; “Being ignored” – possible value: Respect or Consideration.

Exercise: 12 minutes of free writing on “My most fulfilling moment” and “My most painful relationship moment”. Underline words that hint at values.

2Role models and quiet envy

• Which people do you admire, real or fictional? What do they embody? Courage? Wisdom? Loyalty? Accountability?
• Where are you “quietly envious”? This often reveals a value you do not yet allow yourself to live.

3“Perfect day” visualization

Imagine an ideal weekday in 2 years, not lottery-winning fantasy, but realistic. What do you do morning, noon, evening? Who are you with? Where does your energy go? The structure (lots of exchange vs. lots of focus, order vs. spontaneity) reveals values: Clarity, Structure, Growth, Creativity, Closeness, Autonomy.

4Role cards: Me as ...

List your roles: me as partner, parent, friend, colleague, me alone. For each role ask: “Which 3 values do I want to make visible in this role?” Differences show what is situation-specific, and what is non-negotiable across roles.

5Body signals (the “body compass”)

Your body is an excellent resonance chamber. Read potential values (see list below) out loud and notice micro-signals: a sigh, space in the chest, warmth, or tightness and pressure. Do not over-interpret, treat it as an extra data point.

6Evidence-based inventories

• The Schwartz Portrait Values Questionnaire (PVQ) or the Rokeach Value Survey (RVS) help clarify core orientations (e.g., Self-Transcendence, Openness to Change, Conservation, Self-Enhancement).
• VIA Character Strengths (Peterson & Seligman) focus on virtues and strengths that closely connect to values.

7Pairwise prioritization

When you have 10–15 candidate values, compare two at a time: “If I could live only one, which matters more today?” Build a ranking. Goal: 3–5 core values.

Value list for inspiration

• Connection, Honesty, Respect, Autonomy, Safety, Growth or Development, Creativity, Care, Courage, Curiosity, Humor, Mindfulness, Responsibility, Justice, Adventure, Stability, Generosity, Gratitude, Discipline, Wisdom, Spirituality, Health, Meaning or Contribution, Fidelity or Loyalty, Openness, Belonging, Order, Spontaneity, Calm, Vitality, Love of Learning, Reliability, Empathy.

From list to life: Your value experiment plan

Values become visible in action. For each core value, set 2–3 concrete micro actions to test in the next 7 days. Small beats big. Consistency beats heroics.

• Honesty: “I answer one colleague's question today without sugarcoating, friendly and clear.” “I tell my friend I need time alone today instead of making excuses.”
• Connection: “I send someone I appreciate a short, genuine 3-sentence note.” “I listen actively for 10 minutes without interrupting.”
• Autonomy: “I block 90 focused minutes without my phone.” “I make one decision today without seeking external advice.”
• Respect: “I keep custody drop-off times with my ex strictly factual, no extra debates.”

Formula for value actions: “In situation X I will do behavior Y to live value Z.” Example: “When I feel tempted to scroll on Sunday afternoon (X), I put my phone away for 30 minutes and read my book (Y) to live Calm and Growth (Z).”

How values stabilize you after a breakup, and make attraction more mature

After a breakup the nervous system often swings between alarm (seek contact, control) and withdrawal (shut down). Values help you find a steady middle line.

• Reduce rumination: Instead of “Why did he or she ...?” ask “What matters to me, and how do I act on it today?” This shifts attention to agency and self-leadership.
• Set boundaries: A value like Respect allows you to agree on pauses in contact, factual and without drama. You are not acting “against” your ex, you are acting “for” your value.
• Mature attraction: Authenticity is attractive. When you communicate from values, you come across clearer, calmer, more consistent. That is the opposite of neediness, and it raises the chance that later contact is more respectful.

Example phrases:

• “Reliability and respect matter to me. I will stick to our agreements closely and I want the same in return. If emotions run high, let's table it until tomorrow, okay?”
• “I need quiet for the next 14 days to regain stability. After that we can handle logistics. Thanks for understanding.”

These sentences are not manipulative. They express your values. That is the difference between tactics and integrity.

Concrete day-to-day scenarios

• Sarah, 34, marketing, newly single after 6 years: Sarah notices she keeps checking his social media. Her value check: Dignity, Honesty, Growth. Mini experiment: 14-day social media break, plus daily 20 minutes of learning (online course). Result: less rumination, better sleep. She tells her ex: “I will reach out next week about the furniture. Until then I will keep radio silence.” Her actions align with dignity and growth, she feels inner stability for the first time.
• Jason, 41, two kids, contentious breakup: Values: Respect, Responsibility, Connection. He has been passive-aggressive at drop-offs. New script: “Friday 6 p.m., I will be on time. If I am running late, I will text 2 hours ahead.” After 3 weeks: fewer blowups, kids calmer. His ex is not warmer, but more neutral, which lowers Jason’s stress. He lives connection through reliable rituals with the kids.
• Maya, 29, on-off relationship pattern: Core values: Clarity, Self-Respect, Honesty. She tends to late-night texting. Experiment: If the urge comes after 10 p.m., she writes a “night list”: 3 lines on “What am I getting up for tomorrow?”, then phone in the kitchen. After 10 days the urge drops by about 70% (subjective estimate). She only dates again after 4 weeks of stability, value-aligned instead of impulsive.
• Mike, 38, ex wants friendship: Mike’s values: Loyalty, Freedom, Authenticity. “Friendship” feels like an emotional stand-in. He says: “I appreciate you, and loyalty matters to me. I need 30 days of distance to be honest with myself. After that we can see if real friendship is possible.” He honors loyalty by asking for honest space, not by pretending.
• Lauren, 45, considering a fresh start: Values: Connection, Responsibility, Honesty. She sets up a conversation with questions: “How will we resolve conflicts based on values? Which boundaries are non-negotiable? What rituals will we create for connection?” The talk is clearer, less defensive, more solution-oriented. Outcome undecided, but Lauren stays true to herself.

Values plus attachment style: How to avoid common traps

• Anxious-ambivalent: A strong focus on closeness can tempt you to sacrifice Self-Respect. Practice: Before texting your ex, take 3 breaths, then do a value check: “Does this message honor my dignity?” If not, wait 24 hours.
• Dismissive-avoidant: You protect autonomy, but risk values like Connection. Practice: Micro-step: “I reply factually within 24 hours to logistical questions.” Autonomy remains, connection grows.
• Secure: Use your advantage to act clearly and needs-appropriately. Stay anchored in value clarity instead of slipping into constant peacekeeping.

Values do not stop when emotions run high. That is when they become visible. Turn triggers into cues: “Which value is hurt here, and how can I live it with dignity?”

Common value conflicts, and how to balance them

• Autonomy vs. Connection: Agree on me-time and we-time. Communicate it transparently. Use structured check-ins (“How are we doing?”) instead of constant recalibration.
• Ambition or Achievement vs. Care: Plan capacity, set upper limits (“No more than 2 evenings of overtime per week”). Remember: values are directions, you can navigate between them. It is not a zero-sum game.
• Honesty vs. Harmony: The goal is not coddling or harshness, it is clear, kind directness. Use I-statements: “I experience ... I would like ... I can do ...”

Helpful question in conflicts: “Which choice serves the bigger picture of my values over the next 12 months?” This exposes short-term ego needs.

Make your values practical: Checklists and scripts

• Morning check (60 seconds): “Which value deserves 10% more attention today?” Write one mini action.
• Evening reflection (3 sentences): “I lived my values today when I ...” “Hard was ...” “Tomorrow I will try ...”
• 3 standard scripts for critical moments:
  1. Impulse to text: “I feel a strong urge to write. Dignity and respect matter to me. I will wait 24 hours, then decide.”
  2. Boundary: “I want a respectful tone. If that is not possible, I will continue tomorrow.”
  3. Co-parenting: “Punctuality and clarity matter to me. Let’s keep drop-offs factual and announce changes at least 2 hours ahead.”

Values and attractiveness: The quiet power of consistency

Attraction is not only about looks or wit, it is about credibility. Credible people show a coherent pattern: words, behavior, and boundaries match. Others experience this as calm, maturity, reliability, the base of secure bonding. If a restart is possible, it will be built on values, not tactics.

Values, goals, habits: The implementation triangle

• Value = direction (e.g., “Connection”)
• Goal = milestone (e.g., “Weekly relationship check-in”)
• Habit = repeated behavior (e.g., “Every Sunday 6:00 p.m., 30 minutes to talk about us”)

Use if-then plans (implementation intentions): “If it is Sunday 5:45 p.m., then I set a reminder and put on tea.” Research on self-regulation (Carver & Scheier) and implementation intentions shows: Predefined action plans increase the odds you act by your values, even under stress.

What if your values and your ex’s collide?

Two possibilities:

• Negotiable conflict: Different expressions, same overarching values. Example: You both value connection, you want daily short updates, your ex wants 3 longer talks per week. Solution: negotiate a rhythm.
• Non-negotiable conflict: Fundamentally different core values or clear boundary violations (e.g., honesty vs. repeated lying). Then a value-based exit or a clear no-contact period protects you, out of self-respect, not punishment.

Questions for a values conversation (when appropriate):

• “Which 3 values matter most to you in relationships?”
• “How would we know we are living them?”
• “What do we do when a value is violated?”

Values and communication: Speak clearly without fighting

• Use I-language and concreteness: “Punctuality matters to me. I will leave after 15 minutes if no one is here.”
• Name the “what for”: “I care about respect, not being right.”
• Keep the tone warm and the boundary clear. Warm clarity feels less defensive and is often more effective than hard confrontation.

Example dialogue (drop-off, conflict brewing):

• You: “I want to keep this factual. Respect matters to me. If we are irritated, let’s move details to tomorrow by message.”
• Ex: “Always your rules!”
• You: “This is not about rules, it is about respect for both of us. I will send the open points tomorrow morning.”

Values and self-compassion: Protection against perfectionism

When people discover their values, they can fall into a “must live them perfectly” trap. Self-compassion (Neff, as a complementary concept) protects you: you acknowledge that you are human, you make mistakes, and you still orient by your values. Values are not grades, they are directions. A ship reaches its destination with course corrections.

Practical mini exercise after a slip:

• Name the value: “I just acted against my value Honesty.”
• Name the trigger: “I was afraid of being rejected.”
• Set a correction: “At the next chance I will offer an honest clarification, kindly.”

Values and the body: Rituals that foster regulation and congruence

• 3-6-6 breathing (inhale 3 seconds, hold 6, exhale 6) before critical talks, it helps your values speak instead of impulses.
• A 10-minute “value walk”: quietly repeat your value while you walk, find 3 actions today that connect to it.
• Evening “value scan”: head, heart, gut, what does each say about your top 3 values today?

Common mistakes in finding values, and how to avoid them

• Social desirability: choosing values that sound good. Antidote: peak or pain analysis plus body check.
• Staying too abstract: “Love” is big. Translate into observable behavior: “I am present and I listen.”
• Over-identification: becoming rigid. Antidote: values are directions, not dogma. Keep room to maneuver.
• Only searching in your head: integrate feelings and body. Writing plus small actions gives real feedback.
• Too many values: 3–5 core values are enough. The rest support them.

Relationship-specific values: Common anchors in partnership

• Respect or Dignity: Without it, attraction has no base.
• Honesty or Transparency: Foundation of trust.
• Responsibility or Reliability: Especially with children.
• Connection or Relationship care: Time, rituals, support.
• Growth or Development: Use conflicts as learning fields.
• Boundaries or Self-Respect: “No” as an act of love, for you and for the relationship.

Use these as checkpoints for restart talks: “Do we agree on rituals?” “How do we handle conflict?” “Which no-gos do we define?”

Exercises: 7 days of value intensity

Day 1 – Peak or pain writing (2 x 12 minutes). Underline value words. Mark your top 10. Day 2 – Role models and perfect day visualization. Add 5 values. Cut back to 10. Day 3 – Role values: 3 per role. Find the 3–5 that appear across roles. Day 4 – Pairwise prioritization. Fix your top 5. Day 5 – Plan mini experiments (2 actions per value). Start 1 per value. Day 6 – Gather feedback: What felt “right” vs. “nice”? Day 7 – Integration: Write 3 if-then plans for hot moments (for example late-night texting, drop-offs, dating).

End by writing a 5-sentence values statement:

• “I stand for ... (top 3 values).”
• “I live them by ... (concrete behavior).”
• “I protect them by ... (boundaries).”
• “I remind myself daily through ... (ritual).”
• “I allow mistakes and return by ... (self-compassion plus correction).”

If you still hesitate: A 4-question reality check

1. Where did I live my top value visibly in the last 7 days?
2. Which decision in the last 30 days was value-congruent, and how did it feel long term?
3. Which relationship situation challenges my top value most?
4. What is the smallest possible action today to live it right there?

Case studies, analyzed more deeply

Case 1: “Honesty vs. Harmony” – The message you did not send

• Context: You want to text your ex that you are fine with “friendship”, even though you are not. Value test: Honesty wins over short-term closeness. Consequence: You send a value-based message instead (“I need distance to stay honest ...”). Short-term more uncertainty, long-term more self-respect, and paradoxically a better base for future respect.

Case 2: “Autonomy vs. Connection” – Avoidance tendencies

• Context: You cancel a meeting because closeness makes you anxious. Value test: Connection needs micro-steps. You agree to a 30-minute walk, clear end time. Result: Autonomy stays intact, connection grows. These structured, value-based compromises support secure bonding.

Case 3: “Boundaries for disrespect” – Co-parenting

• Context: Contemptuous tone at drop-offs. Value test: Respect is non-negotiable. Action: You define a communication rule (“If contempt appears, we end the conversation, move it to email”). Over time the tone normalizes. If not, use formal routes calmly, still value-congruent (responsibility for kids, self-protection for you).

Make values visible: Symbols, language, spaces

• Symbol: Wear a bracelet or ring that reminds you of your top value.
• Language: Start notes with “Today I live ...”
• Spaces: Create a “value space” (for example a quiet desk for focus, a cozy corner for connection calls).

Science meets practice: Why this works

• Self-congruence works like psychological lubrication: less friction, more flow. Goals that fit values carry more energy and withstand setbacks.
• ACT principle: Accept inner experience (feelings, thoughts), commit to value-based actions. Not “remove the feeling first, then act”, but “act with the feeling”.
• Attachment security is trainable: Consistent, value-led self-leadership sends yourself the message “I am reliable”. This calms your system and changes relationships from the inside out.

Mini workbook: Your 5 core values, operationalized

For each value write down:

• Meaning in 1–2 sentences
• 3 observable behaviors that express it
• 2 common traps and your if-then plan
• 1 weekly measurability idea (for example “2x per week 10 minutes of active listening”)

Example value “Respect”:

• Meaning: “I meet myself and others with dignity, even in conflict.”
• Behaviors: “I speak clearly, avoid shaming, keep my promises.”
• Traps: “Sarcasm under stress”, “Giving in to be liked”.
• If-then: “If I feel sarcasm rising, I take 3 breaths and rephrase in I-language.”
• Measurement: “Zero contemptuous comments this week, 2 clear requests phrased kindly.”

Advanced: Value hierarchies and life stages

Values remain relatively stable, but their weight shifts with life phases. After a breakup, “Stability” and “Self-Respect” often take temporary priority. Plan quarterly reviews:

• Do my top 5 still hold?
• Which context changes require new micro actions?

Dating after a breakup with values

• Signal early what you stand for: “Calm and reliability matter to me, I like clear agreements.”
• Screening questions when you get to know someone: “How do you make hard decisions? What matters to you in conflict?”
• Red flags: Repeated small talk to avoid conflict topics, unreliability, contempt, often conflict with Respect or Responsibility.
• Green flags: Consistency, willingness to take responsibility, transparency.

Common objections, answered

• “Values are too abstract.” Make them concrete: behaviors, if-then plans, rituals.
• “I do not know what I want.” Start with exclusions: What definitely not? Then derive positive values.
• “My ex will not change anyway.” Value work begins with you. It changes your decisions, boundaries, and presence. That is enough to shift dynamics.

Emergency cards for acute triggers

• Card 1 – Urge to contact: “Dignity, Honesty, Calm. 3 breaths. Wait 24 hours. Then decide.”
• Card 2 – Escalation: “Respect first. Say: ‘I will continue this tomorrow.’”
• Card 3 – Self-doubt: “I act for my bigger self in 12 months.”

Keep photos of these cards on your phone. Repetition builds reliability.

30-day plan: From clarity to consistency

Values become stable when practiced for weeks. Use this roadmap and adapt as needed.

• Week 1 – Discover: peak or pain, role models, roles. Result: 10–15 values, then prioritize to top 5. Start a ritual (60-second morning check).
• Week 2 – Test: 2 micro actions per value. Keep a simple weekly list: date, action, feeling after (1–5), short comment.
• Week 3 – Refine: Drop mismatched actions, add 1 new one per value. Communicate one value-based boundary (friendly and clear).
• Week 4 – Integrate: Anchor 1 habit (if-then plan plus calendar). Mini retrospective: “Which 3 situations carried me?”

Gentle measurement ideas:

• “3x per week active listening” (Connection)
• “2x per week 90-minute focus block” (Autonomy or Discipline)
• “1 clear request instead of a passive expectation” (Honesty or Respect)

Digital hygiene as value practice

Digital patterns often spiral after breakups. Use them as a test field for values.

• Social media fasting window: 14 days without checking your ex’s profiles (Dignity, Calm).
• App architecture: Move messengers to the second screen, turn off notifications (Autonomy, Clarity).
• One-inbox rule: Check messages only twice per day, in a 15-minute block (Respect for focus and health).
• Screenshot stop: No screenshots of chats for reassurance seeking (Honesty with yourself).

Conversation guide for a value-based fresh start

If you both consider a restart conversation, structure it.

1. Intention: “I want clarity, not to win. Respect and honesty matter to me.”
2. Align values: “Which 3 matter most to you? Mine are ...”
3. Rituals: “What do we do weekly to nurture connection?”
4. Conflict agreement: “If it escalates, we pause 20 minutes, then I-statement plus a concrete request.”
5. Boundaries or no-gos: “Non-negotiable for me: contempt, lying. What about you?”
6. First steps: “One small experiment this week, review on Sunday.”

Mini phrases that help:

• “I do not need to be right, I want us to understand each other.”
• “Your perspective matters to me, and I need clarity about mine.”
• “Let’s start small, test, and review, not overpromise.”

Value matrix: When two values collide

Work with a 4-field matrix.

• Field A: Action 1 overemphasizes value X, neglects Y. Consequences in 1 week or 3 months?
• Field B: Action 2 overemphasizes value Y, neglects X. Consequences in 1 week or 3 months?
• Field C: Compromise micro step (time-limited, reviewable).
• Field D: Meta value (e.g., “Learning”): What do I want to learn from this conflict?

Choose the smallest experiment from Field C and test it for 7 days.

Self-reflection: 10 short questions for deep clarity

• When did I last do something “costly but right”?
• Which 3 people trigger me, and which value is touched?
• Which decision would make me proud in 12 months?
• Where did I confuse closeness with self-abandonment recently?
• Which habit best serves my top value?
• Which habit sabotages it most?
• What would need to be true for me to say “no”, and how can I practice that in a small way today?
• Which words do I want people to say about me in 5 years? Which values are inside those words?
• How do I notice in my body that I am acting congruently?
• Which value needs protection right now, not growth?

Do’s and don’ts of value-based communication

• Do: Speak in I-form, be concrete, present-focused, and make requests instead of accusations.
• Do: Name the “what for” (“I want to secure respect for both of us”).
• Do: Start small, test, evaluate.
• Don’t: Use values as a weapon (“If you respected me, you would ...”).
• Don’t: Absolutes (“always or never”). Use “often or rarely” and give examples.
• Don’t: Make promises without a plan. Tie every promise to an if-then plan.

Practice sheet: Values in crisis moments

Create columns “Trigger”, “Value”, “Micro action”.

• Trigger: “Alone in the evening, urge to text.” Value: Dignity. Micro: 10-minute value walk, then 1 honest update to a friend (not the ex).
• Trigger: “Drop-off, last-minute change.” Value: Respect. Micro: Standard reply: “Please tell me at least 2 hours ahead. Today I will stick to 6:15 p.m.”
• Trigger: “Self-doubt after photo scrolling.” Value: Honesty. Micro: 5-sentence reality check in your journal (“Facts vs. story”).

Extended FAQ

One last reality check: Values in the mirror of your actions

Ask yourself weekly:

• “How would others recognize that this value matters to me?”
• “If a camera filmed my day, which 3 scenes would show my top value?”
• “Which scene is missing, and how do I create it concretely?”

Values are not words on paper. They are actions in daily life, in doubt, in small moments, in choosing the harder but dignified path today.

Conclusion: Hope with both feet on the ground

You do not have to choose between heart and head. Values connect both. They allow you to feel intensely and still act in line with your larger self. Whether you keep distance, start a talk, or consider a restart, your values give you direction and dignity. Begin with one small step today: say your top value out loud, choose one micro action, and do it. Repeat tomorrow. Steady small steps grow a new, stable version of you, one that loves without losing yourself and sets boundaries without hardening. That is real healing, and the best base for any future relationship, including with your ex.